I received an email from an old school friend who I had not seen in years inviting me to my high school 20 year reunion in Edinburgh last night.
We exchanged a few emails back and forth reminiscing about the days and laughing about some of the nostalgic moments – even sharing a couple of photos from back then.
I doubt I’ll be able to make it but it was fun to hear some of those old names I hadn’t heard or thought about in close to two decades.
Then it struck me.
20 years.
That’s over half of my entire lifetime… I grew up and finished high school, and then lived that lifetime again…
Yet the 2nd half is a blur of acceleration and real life stuff. Some real highlights and some some real lows, but a blur nonetheless.
Flash back to high school and all my memories are in slow motion in comparison. The days seemed endless and the people eternal.
Of all the reunions that I could be invited to, I think this would be the most fascinating – I sometimes feel as sure as that 18 year old who left school, and sometimes as vulnerable as the 12 year old who started it, and wherever we are in our lives, this group of people who will be meeting again in June 2008 will probably relate to that and put us in the same picture.
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Going back to the age thing, I was in one of my university lectures this past week and we’re in the process of forming groups of 6 for a group project… it’s important to note that, for this class, the continuing ed. students have been intermingles with regular day undergrads so there is quite a mix in the room of 80.
I found myself on Monday surrounded by undergrads as we are all reminded that we should start forming working groups. The group who were sat directli in front of me had found 5 members and were looking for a 6th, when they turned to me and made eye contact… I think she knew that I had overheard as she asked me if I was interested. I immediately said “sure”, but as the words came out, the girl who was sat behind me immediately stepped forward and offered herself to the group. Of course I was easily ousted and the 6th spot was gone.
It’s amazing how suddenly and immediately I felt rejected. About 2 moments later, one of the huddle turned around and said, with a small amount of guilt, “Hey, why don’t you become like a reserve – you never know”.
I smiled politely and said that I’d look around and not to worry.
It was then that I realized, maybe for the first time in years that I am not everyman to everything, that I can be rejected for simply being different – in my case, older. It was a strange realization and one which I think many go through – by nature, we tend to surround ourselves with like-minded people, as we grow up, we tend to surround ourselves with people of the same age simply because of consistencies and similarities in life experience, attitude etc…
Of course there are exceptions, but as a general rule…
I still think that I can relate to the younger folks, I lived their life already, right?
The hard thing to accept is that there’s a point by which you are not immediately accepted because you are too far outside of their range or sphere of reference. I’m sure I was the same. Like I said earlier, I know I thought I had it all figured out in my late teens and early twenties and then my education began again.
I wonder if humility goes in cycles…
Ages 0-17, relative humility
Ages 17-25 zero/low humility
Ages 25-40 relative humility
Ages 40-65 zero/low humility
Ages 65- relative humility.
For the record, I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself… not at all.
Just realising that I was somewhere I knew existed, but had realised I’d reached.
Reading back over this, I’m not sure I’ve been all that articulate.
Are there other likeminded 30 somethings who have experienced the same thing?
Posted by procrasto 
Posted by procrasto 
Posted by procrasto 