It’s been over three weeks since Jack arrived and that cliché that “everything changes” is somewhat redefining itself.
I’m still in constant awe of what we created. This little wriggling, pink carrot-top is developing personality moment by moment, and growing in size and weight minute by minute.
His feet no longer fit into his 0-3 month PJ’s, but his baby bum does.
Sleep patterns have no rhyme or reason. Except for me. I sleep at night. Only less.
We have watched all of seasons one, two and are well into season 3 of Nip/Tuck. I think I know who the ‘Carver’ is. He’s still creepy.
I’ve been poo’d and pee’d on more times than I remember. It doesn’t gross me out at all.
My perception of the world around me, and my understanding of my view of the world pre-Jack is a complete “Sliding Doors” thing.
I used to look at those people who had kids and think to myself ‘that’s nice’ and move on, unaware of how small your world really becomes, how much energy you can realistically give to the other stuff and how your world is focused on my new family, and it’s safety, security and health.
…and I never appreciated that before now.
When friends and family had their kids before, I accepted that they would disappear and enjoy their moment and I knew that I shouldn’t take it personally when they chose family over me.
But of course it’s not a choice.
In these early days, we as parents have no choice but to care and love and look after our new kids. Above all else. Instinctually. Primally.
So in that sense everything changes and nothing changes.
We’ll be back and into circulation. I still care deeply for my friends who are on the outside looking in, but they need to know that we’re not actively choosing to shut anyone out.
More that we’re still figuring it out.
It might make no sense within their perspective now, but trust me on this…
There’s enough room in my heart for everyone – just not in my life right now! 
And if you want to see what’s going on, you should go see the wee man.
Posted by procrasto 
Posted by procrasto 